I had major eye surgery today. And I blame Dr Joel Wesley Thompson.
Now when I was last in the US, Wesley would keep looking at my eye and tell me I had a basal cell carcinoma (BCC). Now, for your information, and presumably as most of you have never looked that longingly into my eye, here’s the evidence:
If you double-click on the picture above, you will see on my lower eyelid a lumpy growth thing that has never bothered me until Wesley kept looking at it and going “I want you to get that checked.” That is the BCC that he was concerned about.
(Also, I hope you did click on that picture cos it really captures the all the colours in my eyes. Even as an infant I procrastinated so I was blessed with three-colour eyes. I have always been rather pleased with that. Go on, look. Can you imagine having them looking at you lovingly? heh)
Now I don’t know about you but when ever anyone mentions the word cancer to me I tend to completely lose control of my bodily functions. Even though BCCs are very common and even on eyelids, googling them is not going to be your friend. So last night at 3 am I googled “eyelid bcc treatment” and seriously wished I hadn’t. (Even though I am a nurse, eye surgery always made me cringe) I had a minor freakout and texted Wesley to reassure me that it might be something other than a BCC. He texted me back that when he had a BCC on his nose, I was very reassuring and telling him not to worry. But I was lying. Of course I was worried about his treatment. That’s what you do when your friend is in trouble. You lie and be encouraging and hope for the best. You fib.
Unless you’re J Wesley.
As I am sure you all know, I adore this man and have complete respect for his opinion both personally and professionally. In his field of HIV he is nationally renowned and respected. As a doctor I have seen him diagnose people with pinpoint accuracy and I trust him with my life. So when he tells me I have a BCC in my eye I listen and get it checked as he asks. The problem is if you ever have a little physical complaint don’t ask him. He’ll give you his professional opinion and it is always seems to be the worst possible scenario.
Now I am a hypochondriac. I realise this and keep telling myself not to worry whenever I get any type of ache or pain. I saw Death Be Not Proud when I was 11 and, ever since then, with every headache I expect my head to swell with my non-operable tumour and I’ll have to wear a lop sided turban to hide the blemish. (One day, during routine CT scans for my ear, they discovered a huge shadow on my brain. A story for another day). So I realise I am appalling. I will think the worse without help.
So my best friend turns out to be a hypochondriac’s nightmare; a person with impressive medical knowledge and diagnosis skills who isn’t afraid to not sugar coat it to protect your feelings. Very early in our relationship, I learnt not to ask his opinion on anything minor I may have been experiencing.
“What do you think this rash is on my elbow?” “Oh that’s a symptom of leprosy.”
“I’ve got this weird ringing in my ears.” “Might be a tumour. Better get it checked.”
“How long have you had that spot for?” “It’s a mole, isn’t it?” “Well normally it would be….”
“That growth on your face. Had it long?” “That’s my beard, dudey.” “Well normally it would be….”
“You go to the bathroom how often a day???????????????”
“That’s a nasty cough you’ve got there. I think you might need a circumcision. “
Obviously I am teasing (except for one… heh… guess) however, in the way that we are spookily, cannily in sync, whenever I have a complaint he is able to tell me the absolute one thing I would not want to hear. It’s a gift. I thank him kindly then go off and cross myself and wrap garlic round my neck after he’s diagnosed me.
So today I go to my GP for my major eye surgery. My GP diagnoses it as a meibomian cyst and gives me suggestions for treatment, including leaving it alone or freezing it “to flatten it” if I find it cosmetically disturbing. As I cannot stop looking at it whenever I look at myself and hear my friend in my ear “Better get that checked” I elect for the freezing.
It stings somewhat however evidently should slough off within a fortnight and “get flatter”. Here is what it looks like today:
I know. Doesn’t look any different, does it?! I was hoping for a massively bloodshot eye to amuse you with. I am glad I didn’t need an excision though. I happily tell Wesley that it’s not a BCC and didn’t need surgery. He’s thrilled for me. Then has the pensive face you don’t want your doctor to show you….
“But I still think it’s a BCC.”
I love that man.
Bless your GP’s heart. A meibomian cyst is smooth and not granulomatous and it usually involves the gray line of the eye lashes. You have a firm granulomatous slightly dimpled lesion not involving the gray line of the eye lashes – a BCC – until proven otherwise by excisional biopsy. General Ophthalmology, 14 th Edition, page 232, Chapter 18, figure 18-5. Authors D. Vaughn and T. Asbury.
You will thank me when you don’t have to have a portion of your ear excised to fashion you a new lower eye lid. See an Ophthalomogist or a Dermatologist!
Lovingly – your best bud – JWT
See!!!!! This is what I deal with.
And the bastard thing will be he will be right.
And then he will be insufferable……
ah well…. at least it will be another blog post.
Nigel’s butt clenching trip to have his eyelid cut open…
You remind me of that book by Jerome K Jerome … Three Men in a Boat (a much better read, by the way, than was the viewing of a television series based on it). The author/narrator spent his day reading amedical book in the British Library, and discovered he had everything in it except housemaid’s knee.
Glad it wasn’t a BCC, although if Wesley remains concerned, I’d be thinking of follow-up in time.
My sister had a BCC just where yours wasn’t (or might be) and had it removed. She said it was uncomfortable for a few days, but otherwise fine. And very little scarring, apparently.
Be of good cheer, regardless. You can always have on your tombstone the word ‘I told you I didn’t feel well!’.
Well I will go get checked some more. Dont tell him but he makes a good point.
Where is my original comment?
I dunno…. I answered it and nicola referred to it…
thats wierd..
I don’t know where it went. I re- approved it and it’s back now. Not sure why it disappeared in the first place tho…
Did my subconscious self delete it whilst in the fugue state your comments place me?
That’s the most obvious answer
Ah, there I see my quote is back. Good. Now on to the growth on your face. The thing you call a beard………hmmm. We know what I think about unkempt beards – Mr. Woolly Booger!
And circumcision. Yes, one of the cheapest and most effective preventions of HIV and other STI’s documented worldwide with even an African initiative underway by the WHO. Not to mention a reduction in the incidence of penile carcinoma!
I think little Gareth will just have to give up his turtle neck sweater……………..
HA! you know sometimes you are almost convincing…..
then I think brrrrrrrrrr
OMG !!!!!! I am cacking myself…Little Gareth !!!!! hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
but seriously, get it checked Nige, better a little pain than to be completely disfigured and not having anyone look lovingly into your baby blues/greens/hazels !! I had one removed from the tip of my nose(something we have in common JWT) and I had this scab on the end of my nose for a week or so and looked like the wicked witch from the west!!Apart from that it was really only painful for a brief time during the procedure, and I’m sure a big tuff guy like you could stand a little pain (at least thats the story going around town! )
HA! Story around town clearly doesn’t know me very well.
I’m completely tough!!!!!!!
And that’s a lovely mental image , thank you, I shall think of that when I look like a pirate.
and little Gareth is no laughing matter, thank you…. despite most peoples reactions when I get naked.
Kerrie Anne and Nicola, thank you ladies for encouraging our boy. Hopefully I am being overly concerned.
And KB, you know all boys name “their business”……..don’t you girls?!?!?! I could offer a few naming options if you like…………………..
Don’t go there, KB. He’ll do it…..
Re male circumsion. I don’t hold any firm opinions since I was born sans penis. But I do remember my dear father developing a condition in middle life where the foreskin became tighter and tighter and tighter, until he had to have a circumsion in his … late 30s, I think. Let me tell you, you want to walk VERY carefully past the chair in which a recently circumcised adult male is sitting.
Nigel, don’t delay on the follow-up. Thank the blessings that be that we live in a period of pretty good and relatively uninvasive diagnostic techiques. Be grateful for anaesthesia and antiseptics. Praise something for electricity and bright surgical lights. Say hallelujah for pain relief. Congratulate your surgeon on his exceptional level of training and skill. Do a little dance that you don’t live in sub-Saharan Africa.
Wesley, I hope you’re being overly concerned, too, but … better to get the final answer. Always. No matter what it might be.
Well there you go Wesley, I’m convinced now more than ever to let you do it to me.
What nic describes sounds just lovely!
Oh, fidget. Circumcision. Not circumsion. Circumsion … anyone want to try defining what that word would mean if it actually existed?
Circumsion – the technical term for the discarded foreskin
Circumsion….. Hmmmm how about a little lateral thinking here… SIR (royal) CUM (ejaculation) ZION (Jewish) so for me, the word Circumsion means a royal Jewish ejaculation. Have I left myself open for scruntiny and possibly being labelled weird?? Did I say that out loud?
bwahahahahah.
well points for explaining how your mind worked that out cos otherwise, yeah… probably wierd… LOL
Oh Crap, thats supposed to be scrutiny!! What would scruntiny mean , if it was a word? and where were you spell check when I needed you?
Scruntiny sounds like a vaginal itch.
and Mr Wesley and I were only just discussing this morning how this particular post has gone onto wierd and wonderful tangents…
Who knew….
Scruntiny sound like a grunge martini found in Seattle. Maybe a really dirty martini – maybe those olives would be stuffed with a different kind of “cheese” – as is the tone of this blog!
And so it is, we start with a simple tumor of the eyelid and end up where we always do – the penis.
Interesting concept for the olives seeing as we had moved onto circs…..
Not just any penis bud, but mine. LOL
CRACKS. ME. UP that my friends were thinking about that over the last few hours. and don’t worry when I next see KB in front of our friends I will draw attention to her fascination with my bits….bwahahahahahahha
This blog is worth way more than a full breakfast now…
So whatever happened with this? Did it turn out to be a BCC as Wes said? Has it been removed?
Never mind, found the update!