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Posts Tagged ‘Australian Colloquialisms’

You have all lost the plot haven’t you?! Not just the Australians bantering with the lingo but the Americans and the Canadians. And everyone doing very well.

Considering some of the words I had to have explained (curse you East Coast exclusivity) I am sure the Bradster and many people reading this are confused beyond words.

So without further ado…. the translation (and isn’t that hysterical? A blog where you have to decipher the comments… I’ve arrived!!! )

So we’ve heard from Bazza Brown to which Turps Thompson replied ( he would never be called Turps in Australia, he would be called Thommo. I loathe the way Australians call people a nickname by either adding an O or a Y on the end of a name. Somehow people think this is clever as opposed to really lazy thinking. I tend to call people Dostoyevsky or Tchaikovsky as a preferable nickname, if I must. It adds gravitas and has consideration. It also pretty much outs me the moment I do it but it makes me happy. Thommo lacks decorum. God I go off on tangents.. ) His reply, again with the definition in italics:

I am elated or Ace! (An exclamation of happiness) I understood all but 2 references in BB’s aka KB’s Ozzie rant. (That’s interesting, Wesley. What ones didn’t you know? I suspect regional differences at play.)

My time in the land of downunder (Australia, naturally. There are songs about this now, you would have heard them ad nauseam when Australia won the America’s Cup for the first time ever. Then lost it the next year. Go, Aussie, go! ) has paid off. While not a fan of aerial pingpong footie (AFL, mentioned yesterday. The game of Australia. Also not an expression I know so probably Eastern coast. Thus named as the football is kicked long and high across the oval, repeatedly going from one goal end to the other), and I don’t have a missus (a wife) or ankle biter (a baby or child), I do like the blokes on the field. (I am a screaming homosexual) Hint hint hint.. (This is redundant. No hints are necessary. It is world-renowned. There are books written on Wesley’s homosexuality – Tell everyone I swoon at you, will you….?? ;))

Last year, I interviewed with an ocker (an Australian) who was a banana bender ( A person from Queensland, one of the 6 states and 2 territories  of Australia. Thus named as Queensland grows bananas??? Or they have the Big Banana? KB??) for a traveling GP position. He was a blodger (bludger, actually but by this time his Wesley’s use of the language has been flawless so we let him off spelling. A bludger is someone who is slack and / or unemployed) but sis says that’s typical. Most banana benders are not a full quid (are stupid) and I couldn’t make a quid doing it anyway. (I would be financially disadvantaged by taking this offer) I shoulda told him to rack off! (Go away. F… off!) I didn’t care – my grundies weren’t bunched. (An Australian equivalent (and one I hadn’t heard ) of my knickers are  in a knot. I was unconcerned.)

Oh dear Nigel, now I am Jonsesing (Now I am translating American dialect for the Australian readers – what a multicultural job this is. Aching for desperately, like an addict needs a fix) for a trip to Oz. Presh bud (precious buddy)……we are off the chain! (out of control, wildly funny) And yes, that a bit of East coast USA slang. Want more? (yes please.)

This was actually a revelation as many of the words Wesley had used I had not heard of. In this case it was because his experience had all been on the East Coast, notably Sydney, former home of KB and, thus,  how she knew the words he was using. Much like each of the US states has dialect and word differences, clearly so too does Australia. I didn’t realise how much until these posts. Also bear in mind, people REALLY do not speak like this here. The occasional word or two ( and more as you get more into the countryside) but if someone came up with the barrage of colloquialisms everyone came up with yesterday, they would be taken into a mental health facility and forced to watch Merchant Ivory films.

I reply to Wesley who comes back with this retort which I must admit I only knew one of the words:

You’re skiting (I did not know this expression. The East Coast dialect is at full play here. It means boasting, evidently) figjam. (F… I’m Good Just Ask Me. If you’re wondering what the F word stands for, worry not. Bazza Those-Years-In-Refining-School-Were-Not-Wasted Brown will spell it out for you in the next comment)

And yes, I meant bludger and yes you are right on the other two. I am a well travelled seppo. (Another word I have never heard of. pinching mercilessly from KB – Seppo is a very shortened term of endearment for an American i.e Seppo- Septic Tank-Yank )Probably east coast as everything I learned was from NSW. (Ya think?)

And no, last time I was there, my Southern drawl had men AND women buying me all I could drink. (There are books written about this too. Also blowhard, that’s all I’m saying ) And I ain’t a 2 pot screamer! ( A pot is a type of glass here; again a term from the East. A 2 pot screamer is someone who can not hold his or her drink.) As you know. (I do know this. There is an Encyclopedia range written about our drinking. Neither of us are 2 pot screamers.)

To which, Bazza Brown returns, high on life as holiday’s have begun for her and says (For the most part, further explanation isn’t required here):

Firstly let me apologise to Brad, It was all very tongue in cheek.I had just got home from work and was in an elated state as I was officially on holidays ( see. I told you. ), and couldn’t help myself! and now for other explanations…….”hangin on the hill” is that space at every cricket oval where the yobbos go, oops sorry where the beer swilling- screaming obscenities-drunks decide they will watch the match, because they can’t afford the cost of a seated ticket and being as the area is raised(hence the hill) they get a better view. (This is true. Around every cricket oval is an expanse of raised grass. You sit in the elements and watch cricket which sounds to me like torture but many people seem to enjoy it. ) Sorry Brad.
Now as for you Nigel, I guess I have to give you latitude due to your Albion heritage but skiting, you don’t know what a skite is???? (See. Now I am being lambasted in my own blog.) Its someone who tells you how good they are. FIGJAM is an acronym Fuck I’m Good Just Ask Me (There you go. Answer solved on my G rated blog You didn’t need to wait long, did you? Bless her.) Seppo is a very shortened term of endearment for an American i.e Seppo- Septic Tank-Yank. Not the full quid means (as my mother would say) affected or slightly less than” normal”. The football I was referring to was Rugby League (Rugby league – a much better game than AFL. The players have magnificent thighs and bums), NOT aerial pingpong, remember I AM an east coast gal. JW dont be threatening us with a visit down under if you don’t mean it , that’s just plain mean!! Nigel will tell you how well I can swoon at certain males (This is not true. She giggles like a schoolgirl),and even without hearing you talk,  would love to buy you a drink…Its my shout mate x (I will buy you the first round of drinks. See the encyclopedia above)

Then some more banter from Mr Wesley

KB, thank you my dear for setting Mr. Vanstone straight. I knew I had heard those terms. He was being a bloody bunyap (he actually means bunyip. The word is stupid so the spelling is forgiven. A bunyip is a large mythical creature from Aboriginal mythology. It is claimed they live in waterholes) that been watching the bush telly (shortened from the Bush Telegraph. Gossip, spread like wildfire through rural communities) too long. And you are on for that drink. I am quite partial to Hendrick’s Martini’s w/ a twist of lime….olives take up too much room where gin could be! And whisper vermouth over the top like a prayer! (All of this is true. We LOVE martinis. I am partial to olives though. The concept of it taking up too much room is silly unless you fill to the brim. Not saying a word)

Finally, Nick Off Stratford comes in, with her twopennuth:

All the drinks being promised are likely to make someone bang like a dunny door (bathroom door) in the wind (lose control), which will be seriously off like a bucket of prawns in the sun. (something that would be extremely unpleasant)

Phew!

Fantastically yesterday’s post was the best day ever on this blog. I have either hit a nerve or you are all maize, he said, whistling at the sky.

Bugger me dead. I was rapt. This blog was bang on. Normally we have to yarn about Wesley turning me into a hammerhead to get that big a mob.

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Well my intended post again takes a back seat as I need to decipher Ms Brown’s comments to poor unsuspecting Brad following yesterday’s posting.

Brad very reasonably asks :

Are there any Australia Day traditions? Do people eat turkey? Do they light fireworks? Do they have picnics? Are there Australia Day sales at the local car dealerships?

and Kerrie (Just Call Me Bazza) Brown came back with the most superb volley of Australian colloquialisms that even I struggled  to understand some of what she was saying. So here, for Brad and all the rest of you struggling with what Ms Brown said is Bazza Brown’s comment and translation in italics. (Also, forgive me for interpreting everything. I do not assume any person reading this is stupid if I interpret something blatantly obvious)

Hmmmm. I don’t know you Brad, but I need to tell you what Oz day (Australia Day)  is about……… Football (Australian Rules Football (AFL), the only game and topic of conversation in the winter months. A national pastime. It’s players become legends, even more so if they are cretinous. The game bores me), meat pies ( The food to eat while watching the football – tender bits of the worst part of a cow in gravy and wrapped in a pastry case – They are actually really nice) , Kangaroos (You should know)  and Holden cars (You should also know but, in case you don’t. Australia has a massive love affair with Holdens, a type of automobile. Basically they ruled Australia until the mid 80s. They write love songs and sonnets about their Holden Cars.)

. Now I am guessing that’s not going to mean a darn thing nor will these other great Oz traditions …..cricket (The game of gentlemen. Very popular in England, West Indies, Pakistan, India… Fills the void when football is off-season. Again, leaves me cold), and kickin back (relaxing) with a slab of stubbies (A carton of 24 beer cans, usually drunk until you pass out or go buy another)  to watch it on Oz day, or hanging on the hill (I am not sure to be honest. Must be an Eastern expression. I am assuming it is similar to hanging out, where you sit around and do nothing)  if you’re not workin.

Listenin to chisel (Cold Chisel – famous and very good rock band that I think you may know. Started in Elizabeth which is a suburb ten minutes from me. Most famous songs: Khe Sanh; Forever Now; Cheap Wine and a Three Day Growth, When The War is Over.)  at full bore  (the highest volume)in the Commodore (A brand of Holden Car and the object of love poetry) and singin your lungs out (singing heartily and, more often than not,whilst intoxicated), crankin up the barbie (cooking on the BBQ) in the arvo (afternoon) and burnin some bangers (Cooking sausages on the BBQ though Bazza is not wrong about burning them. Australian BBQs were notorious for overcooking food. Ain’t done till it’s black.), and finally watchin the castle  (The Castle – Famous Australian film about a man asked to move from his home as the government wanted to extend the airport. It resonated with Australians who love an underdog and even more so when the underdog defeats the mean oppressors. “Tell them they’re dreaming” has become an Australian colloquialism as a result of this film, such is its influence) with the missus (the wife) later in the night.

If you want to be something special you will need to change your name to Bruce, Brad (Ignore her. Very few people here are called Bruce despite what Monty Python will have you believe. Plus I think Braddums is a better nickname for  you 😉 ) just doesn’t cut the mustard (You probably know this but just in case; doesn’t come up to expectations) mate ( I am sure you know that one). Yeah we have fireworks, picnics and some scummy (unscrupulous, not to be trusted) car dealerships will try and cash in (make money out of) on the day with a sale or six, but no bloody( In this case meaning emphasis, not undercooked) turkey mate! The only turkey would be the guy who tried to serve it up(or Nigel who Lurrrrvvvveeesss turkey! (I eat turkey any day, gladly.)Now are you any wiser??? Happy Oz day mate x

Isn’t she precious?! That wasn’t at all time-consuming, he says, at 3 in the am.  Hopefully that was informative and/ or amusing. See, poor Braddums will never ask a question again….

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