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Posts Tagged ‘Beard’

I sent Wesley a birthday present for his 51st. A boring tie and another present. All wrapped beautifully.

Now you remember the haircut/ beard clipper abstinence when I was losing weight. I got particularly woolly and was harassed daily by Wesley to trim the bloody thing. He was relentless. I have to admit I was keen to do so but had to hold out.

So when I did trim it finally I kept Mr Thompson in mind and saved the clippings to send to him. I even told him I would do so. He didn’t believe me because, really, who would be stupid enough to do such a thing. Me! I’d be that stupid.

So I wrapped them beautifully and posted them along. And waited for a response. And waited. And waited.

I was becoming a bit concerned when Wesley advised that the parcel had arrived finally. And had been opened. And been DNA tested. And had a bio sticker on it. And an identity number.

Then, to make matters even MORE genius, they rewrapped it for him.

I love the fact that my beard is considered a terrorist threat. Love it. Love the fact it was DNA tested. Love the fact they rewrapped it, which was really sweet of them. LOVE the fact I am mad enough to do it.

I just wish it had been more than just beard hair.

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Tales of My Beard

Remember this?

It now looks like this:

Because, yes, I FINALLY got past the ten kilo mark after weeks of hundred gram losses. Finally. Man that was a pain.

Anyway the clock is reset. On to the next ten kilos. See how feral looking I can become in the next ten.

Note to Lloyd.  I weighed myself post haircut. I possibly lost a couple of grams at most. I also expelled wind prior to weighing myself so the results may be skewed. You’ve got way more hair than me though buddy. You could easily lose half a pound. heh.

Better though, no?!

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Tales of My Beard

This post is rated MA. Not my post itself but evidently I am going to inspire MA comments from a certain personage. I, and you, have been warned. Personally I am looking forward to the snark.

You may remember the constant battle with my weight as witnessed here and here and here and basically everywhere. The  measurement belt was consigned to the bin when I was queer eyed as it was thought the fact that it dangled like an elephant trunk between my legs was both disconcerting and giving false hope.

I rescued it from the bin, mind you, but don’t tell them.

So since the new year, and not at all inspired by new years resolutions, I have been attacking my weight again. This is the year it all changes. I have a personal trainer ( I know!!!! I mean, seriously…… ) who weighs me once a fortnight and tells me that I am losing. I don’t want to know how much I am losing as previously I have worked and worked and worked and only lost a few hundred grams or inexplicably put on a few hundred grams and I have been devastated and fallen back into bad habits.

So Jake, my PT, will let me know two things. I am losing and to keep what I am doing up and/ or when I have hit a ten kilo mark. The reason the ten kilo mark is important is that I can then attack my beard. I’ve got an incentive bet with myself that I will neither get a haircut (no real loss, I don’t have hair) or trim the beard until I’ve lost ten kilos. As such I am decidedly wooly. And probably another month before I hit the goal.

Having an unkempt beard is driving me nuts however Wesley is beside himself with appalledness (not a word but you get the point.) Both are good incentives to keep going. Currently I am at  woolly booger status with him but evidently the insults are going to get worse by the end of this blog. I have offered to let him sort it out if he comes over but thus far he is being resistive, for some reason. In the mean time we count down to the first ten kgs and it grows and grows.

I will keep you posted of its magnificent luxuriousness. At least one of you will be watching with interest.

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