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Posts Tagged ‘Future Wife No1’

Finally caught up with KB;  friend, blog commenter, vegetarian on Wednesday night (as has been promised in forever if you read the comments on this silly thing and, if you don’t, you’re missing out.) FutureWife No 1 and Ms Dunn were both present.

A jolly good time was had by all. I was extraordinarily tired and not as super fun as I should be. I am always super fun  however, worry not, but I had slept maybe 7 hours in the last 72 due to needing to fight my nocturnal tendencies to sort things out prior to the holiday and, as such, was a bit spent.

Fortunately there was the Food of the Gods on standby.

Hendricks martini, with anchovy stuffed olives, which gave me instant sustenance. After four I was well sustained. Dear lord, they are magnificent. MsDunn  did not think so and thought it was not unlike engine oil. I drank her glass, the philistine, and insisted she have another so I could drink that too. Seriously, call me an alcoholic if you must, but I would happily drink these daily and repeatedly.  There is nothing bad about these drinks, despite what liver advocates would have you believe.

LOVE them. If you want to get me a present, and you should, think bottle of Hendricks.  I will thank you by drinking it.

We spent the night watching The Royle Family which was magnificent and Farmer Wants a Wife which was mind numbing. A reality show, 20 women go out to meet 6 farmers and hopefully find true love. It is complete plop. MsDunn loves it. MsDunn comes from a farming background (ie she has a farmer partner, Pete) and presumably she watches this for tips for Pete. Spookily, my friend, Tony, the dairy farmer also likes this dreck however has refused all offers of communication about it thus far. I need to set his head right.

FutureWife no 1 is Annie. We are all mental health nurses. I’ve known Annie for as long as KB. She has been engaged to marry me for the last 14 years and has been pregnant with my child for the last 15. I don’t want the child to be born a bastard. I’m old-fashioned that way.  Futurewife no 1 became FutureWife no 1 after a long list of females made it known they  want to marry me. I am up to FutureWife no 7.  Would, would, would that I had this effect on men. I can’t give myself away to men and I am clearly that fabulous in the sack that I have to beg people to have sex with me more than once. Woman, on the other hand, line up to have my children. Perhaps it’s a forbidden fruit thing.

KB gave me some delightful presents on the evening. What was more impressive about the presents though is she clearly is a fan of this blog. Each present reflected a blog entry or two. First was a lovely silk (not polyester) tie and cufflinks set. However, as lovely as that was (and it was, indeed lovely) it was not as lovely as this present.

OH. MY. GOD!!!!!

Twinkies!!!!!! In Australia!!!!!

I fell to my knees and genuflected. After I stopped weeping I cradled it lovingly in my hands. I am not eating this yet. I am not allowed. Personal trainer forbids me from eating anything but ice cubes and broth made out of mud and curry paste. But soon. Very, very Soon.

There will be a blog about it too.

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