You know, all in all, 2010 was a pretty good year all told. I had some of the worse episodes of feeling depressed in my life in it (I hesitate to call it depression, more a pity party that needed a good slap) however, looking back, the pros far outweighed the cons.
I’ll get to the good stuff tomorrow, for the moment some of the things that sucketh last yeareth. Interestingly, and thank God, most of these things seem to be single events as opposed to long-term drawn out things. For this I am extremely grateful and blessed and even more embarrassed about the pity party.
Moving offices
I don’t mention work at all, or rarely, and certainly not openly disparagingly. However the move in locations from run down but functional building to previously condemned building that had been “spruced up” where the water was undrinkable for 5 months and the toilets didn’t work for 7 was a cause of considerable distress for all concerned. Even trying to be buddhist about it wasn’t working. The workplace hasn’t recovered really. I am actually glad to be on nights cos morale here is in the (non functional) toilet.
Sam’s Death
My brother-in-law in law died this year after an extremely long battle with cancer. He left behind his wife and two children. I would not dare to say his death had the effect it did on his immediate relatives however our families are so entwined now his death was incredibly hard. And so young. Fortunately, his was the only significant loss that directly affected me last year, for which I am extraordinarily grateful. Unfortunately this year looks like it’s going to be harsh already as I was told two of my friends had been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer on New Years Day.
The Bionic Bum
I made light of it but my gluteus tendonitis was absolutely agonizingly crippling at one point. I literally couldn’t walk a step without crying, the pain was so intense. And I wasn’t being stoic either. Lord if there had been drugs available I would have downed them in an instant. The worst night of it, when I couldn’t walk without screaming, I spent on my bed, sobbing with pain all through the night and feeling so sorry for myself. Much of it was pain related however there was also the realisation that if I had died no one would have known and certainly no partner I could rely on to help me out. So I just lay there in bed, a sobbing mass of pity, feeling more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life. Fortunately the next day I could walk without screaming and I could get to the phone and get some help (and wonderful help came) but wow, that night…. that night was harsh.
Making a total cock of myself
Oh I am good at that! I actually am including this only cos the last entry was so rugged. I am well used to making a total idiot of myself, despite my best intentions. Whether that is urinating loudly in front of the Queen Of North Carolina (incidentally, that post went ballistic. People I had never heard of wrote to me to tell me how funny that post was); wearing the wrong eyewear in the cinema; taking my entire extended family to one of the worst outings of their lives (so bad all other outings are measured by it : “Yeah, it was bad but it wasn’t Cadbury World bad.”), setting off alarms in the middle of the night or killing my mother in a walk across London, basically I will make a twit of myself if I can. Welcome to my life.
Absent Friends
Most days that’s the hardest one of all.
Away For A Bit 