This post is for KB, who inspired it with a suggestion a while ago. As she is sick with broken arms and having a delightful time not being able to do anything fun like drive or wipe herself I figured she needed a cheer up. This is before Wednesday night where we will all get maggotted on Hendriks martinis and cheer ourselves up the old-fashioned way. With booze.
Initially it was going to be a long post but I’ve decided to be nice on myself and not list every embarrassing moment in my childhood thus yet. Don’t worry I will get to them. However I got no sleep today and my reserves are limited. Whinge whinge who cares…. On to the Show.
Today’s theme: Childhood Crushes.
It’s massively embarrassing really to contemplate who I was completely in love with when I was a kid. (As an adult, the cycle continues and it gets more embarrassing but that’s what the counsellors get paid for. heh) The list of people I fell in love with as a kid is really long and really dumb ( and then nothing changed. This may turn out to be therapy). Too long for one post and do I really want to be that embarrassed in one hit? Nope.
So lets begin.
Romantic Crushes : The Cartoon people
(oh yeah, this is gonna be cringeworthy)
So sue me when I was a kid I was totally and utterly in love with some cartoon characters.
Firstly this guy:
Oh man, Underdog. I still can’t hear the Underdog theme without sighing and thinking of love lost. I was 6. I am not sure why I loved him so. I suspect cos he was such a nerd in his closet identity (which may explain my deep love and lust for nerds and geeks now) or the fact that he was wicked cool as he saved people with his cape flapping madly behind him as he flew. In my fantasies I was Underboy (Oh lord….) and would fight crime with him. This, however, got boring in my fickle brain and I moved onto the gloriously exciting world of forest fire fighting
Smokey the Bear…. Ohmilord. I had such the hots for him. Ages before I knew what a bear was in gay lore I became a walking cliche and was so in lust with Smokey. The deep gruff voice, his height (he was so tall), his muscular build, his whole general butchness in fighting fires. In my brain I was off fighting fires with him and then having picnics. I’m not sure how long it lasted but long enough to get really frustrated at the general lack of anything Smokey the Bear merchandise related. It’s probably a good thing I wasn’t able to take a Smokey the Bear teddy to bed with me. (OK, I went and YouTubed Smokey to see if his voice was as deep as I remember. OH. MY. GOD! It was like he had been voiced by Barry White. I have chills.)
I imagine the interest in Smokey lasted as long as the tele show. That and the fact that I was becoming aware that forest fire fighting was probably not my cup of tea, even if there was promise of a picnic afterwards. Fortunately for my therapy bill I discovered humans to lust after….
But that’s a future post. This was mortifying enough thank you. OK, your turn. You know you were all in love with a cartoon when you were a kid. I am sure it wasn’t just me. Was it? (That would explain so much!)
Your turn.
Away For A Bit 
I wanted to be Johnny Quest. I had such a crush on him. Forget Race Bannon – he was too gay. And I wanted my own Hadji – which came true with my college roommate – Avijit.
I can see you as Johnny Quest. Race Bannon was mincing.
Curiously my brother’s friend in college was called Avijit.
Thats completely wierd.
Unless its the equivalent of John
How did kb break both arms?!?!
(My son broke both of his arms falling out of a tree when he was in 2nd grade. Is kb a tree climber?)
And sorry, I never had a crush on a cartoon character. But I did like Jimmy (Jack Wild) in H.R. Pufnstuff. Might have been his accent though.
No it’s only one arm. It just feels like two I am sure.
Oh i knew I was wierd. I always found Jimmy annoying, probably cos he had that reallllllllly annoying flute.
My love was entirely platonic, but I did feel a quiver of sympatico with Yosemite Sam.
Interestingly, I am hopelessly attracted now to men with moustaches and beards, including bikers (sans beer bellies), Sam Elliott and Kurt Russell in Tombstone, and my current (and permanent) love, Wayne.
The other characteristic that causes twitching is cheek creases. Yeah, I know. Everyone else picks pecs or bums or thighs; I picked cheek creases.
Every actor and man after whom I’ve lusted has cheek creases; I theorise that it’s the male equivalent of the female dimple.
Check them out: Ed Harris, the aforementioned Sam Elliott and Kurt Russell, David Strathairn, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis (when smiling), Steve McQueen (oh still, my beating heart), Tom Selleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Clint Eastwood, god forgive me for Jeff Goldblum, and the list goes on. DO YOU KNOW if there were any cheek-creased cartoon characters during the 1960s who could have imprinted on an impressionable young lass to this extent?
Well there you go. I had to look up all those people to see what you were talking about. I was thinking of an entirely different cheek.
You realise I will now spend my entire night duty trying to find an animated person with such facial features, dont you.
When I haven’t packed my suitcase for the trip I will blame you.
oh Nigel , thanks for thinking of me .I am taking sooo long to do these blog replies with a few extra kilo’s hanging off my arm.Looking forward to wednesday night.When I read this blog title I was beside myself, as I thought you were saying “crushed” as in Jeff Koala pate, and all I could think of was…ooohhh poor Peggy will be so sad.What a relief !!! and Peggy , all I did was fall over my feet in a dumb inattention moment.
As for me my crush was and still is ASTROBOY…… can any therapist help here???
I am actually suprised the person you are at war with’s lust object wasn’t Astroboy, to be honest.
No Jeff is still out there, organising his posse and speading his chlamydia. Go Jeff.
Funny someone mentioned Jonny Quest – both him, Haji and Race Bannon – all 3! Spiderman too.
Did you see the Harvey Birdman Episode where they went to adopt Johnny as a gay couple?